


Into the Light

by clownchronicles



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Author Doesn’t Know How To Tag, Bisexual Brian May, Bisexual Roger Taylor (Queen), Bisexuality, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, M/M, Riding, Sexuality Crisis, in which brian has a bi panic and roger helps him through it, just maylor being dumb and having sex, with sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:08:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28232937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clownchronicles/pseuds/clownchronicles
Summary: “Do you think everyone’s completely straight?”Roger looks up from where he had been staring at his glass, eyebrows furrowed adorably in confusion.“Huh?” He blinks.“Back at the studio today,” He starts, realizing he should probably give more information on what he’s trying to say. “When Fred was saying he didn’t get the chance to come out.. And that he felt he shouldn’t have to label himself.” He glances up at Roger who’s watching him carefully. He nods for him to continue, trying to understand what the guitarist is getting at.“Do you think all straight people are completely straight?”
Relationships: Brian May/Roger Taylor
Comments: 13
Kudos: 40





	Into the Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> woahhhh it’s been a while . sorry that i kinda disappeared for so long , i had a lot going on . but hopefully everyone had a wonderful christmas and new years ! my first fic of 2021 and definitely not the last . enjoy my loves <33

When Freddie storms into the studio, after being nearly an hour late, the other three can sense that today wasn’t going to be a pleasant day.

The singer lets the door slam loudly behind him, startling John who was busy tuning his bass. Roger and Brian immediately pause their conversation about a song they had plans to record when they see their distressed bandmate and the guitarist is the first to rise from his seat.

“Fred? What is it?” He asks cautiously.

The man says nothing and instead slaps a newspaper article down onto the table, in front of him, insinuating for him to read it. 

Brian glances back at the other two, both John and Roger sharing the same expression, and he swallows quietly before taking the paper into his hands.

It’s worse than he was expecting.

On the front cover of the paper is a picture of Freddie and another man. The unknown man has his arm slung over Freddie’s shoulder and is pressing a kiss to his lips. By the looks of it, the singer had been at a bar and someone had decided to snap a photo of the two in their intimate moment. 

Under the photo is a nasty headline and an even nastier article, one that Brian can’t even bring himself to finish reading and he looks back up. 

“You can’t be fucking serious.” He sighs. 

“What’s it say?” Roger asks, standing up and walking over to him. Brian wordlessly hands him the newspaper and the man walks over towards John so they can read it.

After a few moments, there’s a loud curse coming from Roger. 

“What the fuck?” He nearly screams, staring at the paper in disbelief. He quickly looks up and meets the guitarst’s eyes. His blue eyes are bright, now shining with a new anger and Brian can understand the bubbling rage, he feels it too. They all do. 

“Who the fuck do they think they are?” He marches over to Brian and waves the newspaper in the air. 

“They can’t just invade your privacy like this.” John murmurs, shaking his head.

“Oh, but they can. And they have.” It’s the first time Freddie speaks and his voice is dripping with a bitterness none of the men are usually used to hearing. 

It sends a shiver down Brian’s spine and he’s a bit surprised that a hole hasn’t been punched in the wall yet.

“Who leaked this picture? We’ll fucking sue them.” Roger lets out a huff and Brian has to press a hand to his back to make sure he doesn’t lose his mind completely.

“Even if we do that and the picture is taken down, everyone will still know about it.” He explains, keeping his eyes trained on the fowl newspaper. 

“It isn’t fair.” Freddie snatches the newspaper out of the blond’s hands and immediately rips it in half. He continues to rip it until it’s in several small pieces in his hands and he takes the pieces and thrusts them all into the bin in the corner of the room.

“I wasn’t ready to come out.” He says softly, staring at the bin. “Now the whole entire world knows I like men and women and I wasn’t given the bloody chance to tell them. They’ll label me as some - some freak. A fairy. It isn’t fair.” 

“I’m so sorry Freddie.” John whispers, green eyes shining with sorrow for the other man. Brian can see that he wants to comfort the other man somehow, though he’s probably holding back to give the other man space.

“It isn’t their place to label me. I don’t need a fucking label for being with whoever I want.” The singer spits out.

“Whatever happens, we’ll be here for you.” Brian tells him. He can’t imagine the suffering that his friend must be going through, and as much as his morals should go against it, he wants nothing more than to hunt down the person who caused this and split their head open.

“We love you.” 

“And fuck what everyone else thinks,” Roger adds, face still pinched. “Fuck the press. They don’t matter.” 

“Our sales matter.” Freddie states grimly, turning around to face the other three. “I don’t want our fans to quit listening to Queen’s music because of me.” 

Brian understands where he’s coming from and his heart breaks a little inside his chest.

“If they can’t listen to our music because of this, they weren’t true fans to begin with.” John states. Roger nods in agreement.

Brian sends an appreciative smile to the bassist and hopes the words ease a bit of the tension inside the singer, that their support is enough to help Freddie get through this.

He knew being anything other than straight in their society was seen as a sin, which he never really understood why. He didn’t see the problem with two people, or perhaps more, being together if they were happy and loved each other. He didn’t understand what other people’s business was in someone else’s relationship and why they felt they had the right to voice their opinions on it all.

In Brian’s humble opinion, people could go fuck themselves. 

“Deacy is right. Besides, people will forget about this in a week or so. Another celebrity will do something that grabs the media’s attention and soon everyone will be focused on them and will forget about you.” Roger says as he takes a seat. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He plucks one out and brings it to his lips, grabbing his lighter from his jeans next and lighting it. Brian squints at him but says nothing, earning a wink from the blond in return that sends an unfamiliar spark through his tummy. 

The others have gotten used to the smell of his smoking that they no longer bother with shoving him outside the building to smoke. Brian hardly bats an eye again as he moves to sit back down on the couch and pick up his guitar.

“We were working on a song, Fred.” He speaks up, catching the older man’s attention. “If you want to hear it. I think it’d sound good on the album.” 

He knows that music is perhaps the best distraction for his bandmate at the moment, a way for him to refocus his energy into something he loves rather than stress about the shady press. And when Freddie is sitting down next to him and nearly pressing his nose into the paper, Brian smiles at him. The smile he gets in return is small, but real and genuine and it warms the guitarist.

“Let’s hear it, darling.”

  


They ended up getting most of the song recorded and finished, the work managing to brighten the group’s mood before they decided to call it a night. John went home to Veronica and Freddie had decided he would have a night in with Mary and his cats. 

When Brian asked Roger if he had any plans and the younger man answered no, he asked if he wanted to head over to his place for a drink to which he answered yes. He told Brian he’d run home to change and then he’d be over after. 

“You look comfortable.” Roger greets as he steps inside the living room, motioning at Brian’s clothes.

Brian had decided on changing as well, pulling on a jumper and a pair of joggers which were much easier to breathe in compared to the tight jeans he’d worn earlier. 

He lets out a laugh and smiles bashfully as he looks down at his outfit.

“I am comfortable.” He nods, eyeing Roger’s own clothes. The blond is wearing a pair of faded jeans and an old Smile t-shirt that he probably had socked away in the back of his closet. He’s got a jacket hanging loosely around his shoulders and Brian thinks the casual look is a good look on him. But then again, Roger always looks good.

“You want a drink?” He asks, tearing his eyes away from the blond and heading over towards his makeshift bar. 

“Kind of why I’m here, isn’t it?” Roger calls out after him.

“Oh, you’re not here to enjoy my company?” Brian pretends to be hurt, sending Roger a dramatic pout.

“Only when your company is paired with alcohol.” 

“Should’ve known you’re only friends with me for the free drinks.” 

“And the free food.” Roger teases as he settles down onto the couch and spreads his arms out along the back. “I’ll have some vodka.” 

“Sure,” Brian murmurs in reply, grabbing two glasses. “Just straight?” He calls over his shoulder.

“Please.” Roger nods. He watches the guitarist prepare the drinks, his head thrown lazily back against the arm rest of the couch. Brian turns around after a few moments, both glasses in his hands as he walks over to the couch and passes one to the blond.

“Thanks, love.” Roger smiles, bringing the glass to his lips. He takes a slow sip, letting the alcohol flood inside his mouth before swallowing with a sigh.

“Today was shit.” He says, making eye contact with Brian. “Don’t you think?”

“You mean with Freddie?” Brian pulls a face. “Yeah, it’s terrible. I can’t stop thinking about it.” 

“Me either.” Roger presses his lips into a thin line as he clears his throat. “Do you think this will change anything?” 

“Change? What do you mean?”

“Our sales.” He clarifies.

“Oh.” Brian nods in understanding. He ponders the question for a moment, taking a sip from his glass. “Well.. you know how people are. Especially with us.” He gives a half shrug, lips turned down into a frown. “It’s almost inevitable, the scrutiny from them. Especially the press.” 

“The press can piss off.” Roger huffs, tilting his head back and knocking the rest of his vodka down his throat. “As if we’ve done anything wrong.” 

Brian doesn’t know what to say. He isn’t really sure what to say. Instead, he downs the rest of his drink before standing up. He heads back over to the bar, grabbing the bottle of vodka and preparing another drink for himself. He decides to take the bottle with him back over to the couch and sets it down on the table. 

“I need another one of these.” Roger says as he leans forward and grabs the bottle. He pours himself a new glass before sitting back and taking a long sip.   
  
  
  
  


They spend the next few hours like that, drinking and talking. They finish the first bottle of vodka and decide to open up a second. 

Both men are relatively drunk and Brian is slurring most of his sentences and sending Roger into a fit of giggles everytime he stumbles over his words. 

Brian doesn’t take offense to it because frankly, he deeply enjoys the sound of Roger’s laughter. 

It’s when they’ve fallen into a comfortable silence that Brian decides to ask a question that had been lingering in his mind since he’d gotten home.

“Do you think everyone’s completely straight?” 

Roger looks up from where he had been staring at his glass, eyebrows furrowed adorably in confusion. 

“Huh?” He blinks.

“Back at the studio today,” He starts, realizing he should probably give more information on what he’s trying to say. “When Fred was saying he didn’t get the chance to come out.. And that he felt he shouldn’t have to label himself.” He glances up at Roger who’s watching him carefully. He nods for him to continue, trying to understand what the guitarist is getting at.

“Do you think all straight people are completely straight?” 

Roger’s face is still evident with confusion but he slowly starts to understand what Brian is trying to ask and he takes another long sip from his drink as he tries to figure out what to say.

“Do I think straight people are completely straight? Like, you’re referring to straight people who think they are completely straight?”

Brian nods slowly. 

“Uh,” Roger shifts around in place as he tries to figure out what he wants to say. The question has caught him off guard and he’s not sober enough to give enough logical thinking to it. 

“Well.. no? I don’t — I think it’d be wrong to say that.” He says, shrugging his shoulders. “I mean, surely people have their urges. Even if they’re straight, there may be moments in life when they do..” He struggles to find the word. “..queer things. Or whatever.”

Brian listens to him speak, watches as Roger struggles equally to try and get his point across. 

“How do people figure out if they’re straight or not?” He asks next, suddenly very curious about the topic.

This questions seems to surprise Roger even more and he raises his eyebrows. 

“I’m not — I’m not really sure. That’s.. I guess, maybe it’s a natural thing? Like, boys noticing girls but different. Exploring probably helps too, I guess. It probably depends on the person. Not everyone experiences it in the same way.” 

He thinks about the words and through his muddled brain, tries to make sense of them. Both of them were definitely too inebriated to be having a heavy conversation such as this, Brian knew that, but his brain had been swimming with questions for the last few hours, questions he’d never really had before, and now he was longing for answers. Or at least, to figure out why he was asking these questions.

“Why are you asking?” Roger’s voice cuts him from his thoughts and he looks up. It’s almost ironic, the question. 

Brian doesn’t know why he’s asking, nor does he even really understand what’s he asking.

“I don’t know, I just.. Just curious.” He knows that isn’t the full truth but he hopes it’s a good enough answer for now until he figures out his actual answer. 

Roger watches him but says nothing.

Brian suddenly feels that he needs another drink and leans foward to pour himself another glass. He knows both of them are too drunk, and that’s it far too late for them to still be awake, but he doesn’t really want to be alone. Especially with his muddled thoughts. 

He looks to Roger and finds that his thoughts begin to dramatically shift. He studies the blond’s face and finds it almost alarming how beautiful his best friend really is. His piercing blue eyes are sending small, electric shocks up his spine and it nearly causes him to spill his drink. He brings it to his lips and takes a large gulp, swallowing the harsh liquid down and trying to understand the sudden thoughts that he’s now having about his friend and why he’s suddenly so curious about sexuality and the possibilities of not always being straight even when you think you are.

It’s starting to make his head hurt and he releases a sharp breath, suddenly starting to regret drinking so much. 

“Bri? You alright?” He hears Roger ask, the younger man sitting up and moving closer.

“Not really, no.” He answers honestly, seeing no point in trying to lie. It would only add to the stress he was currently under and that really wasn’t something he wanted. 

“What is it?” Roger presses a hand to his arm and the light weight helps ground him a bit. It keeps him tethered to reality before he can drift off into another world and begin to lose himself in his own head. 

He finds Roger looking at him with slight worry in his eyes and it pushes him towards being honest and answering the question. Even if he doesn’t want to. 

“I don’t.. I think — ” He pauses, swallowing thickly. He opens his mouth again but can’t seem to force out any words. He closes it again and looks to Roger helplessly, hoping he can understand what Brian wants to say so he doesn’t have to say it himself.

Roger studies him carefully. “You don’t think you’re straight.”

The words feel like a hard slap to Brian’s face as it sends him a whirlwind of reality. All he can do is mumble a quiet ‘yeah’ because his throat and mouth suddenly feel like sandpaper and talking seems like the most painful thing to do.

He starts to sniffle, like he’s about to cry, and Roger wraps his arms around him and pulls him close. He rests his face into the blond’s neck and wonders if he’s actually about to cry or not. He can feel Roger’s skin against his cheek and it’s warm to the touch, a pleasant heat that sends Brian’s heart thumping. 

“It’s alright, you know.” He whispers, stroking back dark curls. “If you’re not. It’s not the end of the world.” 

Brian knows that’s true, knows that the possibility of him being anything but straight isn’t a horrible thing. But he’s been so used to calling himself straight, his whole life he’s been tied to one sexuality, that it was foreign to him to be anything but. 

“I’ve always been so sure..” He mumbles, letting out a harsh sigh. “I really like girls.” 

Roger softly laughs against him. “And maybe more?”

“Maybe.” Brian lifts his head and stares his friend in the eye, Roger looking down at him. He feels blue eyes bore into his own hazel ones and nearly loses himself under the intense gaze. 

“How do you plan on finding out?” Roger asks him, his hand still toying with his hair.

“I don’t know.” Brian answers honestly, shrugging. He really didn’t know what he was going to do or how he was going to figure all of this — _himself_ — out. “How did you do it?” 

“How did I do what?”

“How did you figure out you were bisexual?” Brian deadpanned, not in the mood for playing twenty questions. 

Roger sends him a cheeky smile. “I experimented in college. I uh, I started getting curious about what it would be like to get shagged by a guy. So, I did that and found I enjoyed it. From there, it all just started figuring itself out and that was it.”

Brian, though trying his hardest, has to admit to himself that the thought of Roger getting shagged by another male sends a pang of jealousy shooting through him but it also slightly turns him on and he can feel his pants grow a bit tight as he shifts.

“Oh,” Is all he says because he isn’t really sure what else to say. He wishes it was that easy for him, for his sexuality to just appear clearly to him and be able to skip all the panicking and anxiety that came with it.

“I know it can be hard,” Roger sighs, knocking their shoulders together. “But having help makes it easier.” 

“Really?” Brian asks. 

“Of course.” Roger nods. “Having someone to support you makes it feel and seem a lot better.” 

“I suppose.” Brian mumbles, nodding his head. 

“Maybe you should do some exploring.” Roger says suddenly, resting his cheek on Brian’s shoulder. 

The thought of it sets nerves alight in Brian’s body and pushes a series of questions to the forefront of his mind. How would he even do that? Where did he find men that would sleep with him to figure out if he was straight or not? Would men want to sleep with him? What man would even _want_ to sleep with someone like Brian?

He knows the last questions come from his deeply rooted anxiety and self deprecating feelings but it still hurts no less as the fear of men being disgusted by him is pushed inside his brain.

“I’m not sure.” He whispers, titling his head down at the drummer. “It might not go well.” 

The thought of being left vulnerable to a total stranger put a bad taste in Brian’s mouth as he didn’t like people he didn’t know touching him. Any part of him. He didn’t like the idea of a one night stand, if it could even be called that, and he wasn’t ready to risk anything.   
  
“You’ll never know unless you try.” Roger says and Brian has to scoff as the words remind him of the dumb posters his teachers would have up on their classroom walls back in school. Though, the saying is fitting for the situation, he supposes. 

“Sure, but what happens then? If I don’t like, great, I’m straight? If I do, then does that mean I’m not? That I like men? If I’m being honest, it all feels a little pressuring. This whole thing feels too confusing and frustrating and it’s making my head hurt.” 

“I’m sure.” Roger smooths a hand down his back. “It’s alright to feel like that, it’s a really confusing thing to deal with. Whatever happens, whether you end up liking or not liking, is fine. It doesn’t fucking change anything if you do end up liking dick.” 

Brian snorts. “A charming way to put it.”

“Yeah,” Roger grins. 

Brian gives him a small grin back and he feels Roger clap him on the back, hand rubbing at the spot in between his shoulder blades. The touch is heavy against him and it sends a vestige of warmth bubbling through him. He wants to blame it on the alcohol, but knows that’s not the case and doesn’t even try to fool himself into thinking it is. 

Roger is looking at him, eyes droopy but attentive, and his lips are parted slightly as his tongue darts out and swipes across them. Brian doesn’t realize that he’s staring until he feels a wave of heat wash over him and he lets out an almost inaudible gasp. 

Of course, Roger notices.

“You alright?” He asks.

“Mhm..” Brian nods, darting his eyes away from his seemingly irresistible friend. 

“You ready to call it a night then?” He hums, tilting his head to the side. 

“Think that’s probably a good idea,” He sighs, looking down at their empty glasses and half empty vodka bottle. “My head is gonna kill me tomorrow.” 

He hears Roger chuckle next to him and the sound is pleasant in his ears. 

“Mind if I crash here tonight?” 

Brian nods as he moves to stand, wobbling unsteadily on his feet and blinking. 

“It’s not safe out there with you on the road.” 

“I know, I’ll leave when I’m not drunk off my ass.” Roger says as he tries to stand as well.

Brian sends him a teasing stare. “I don’t mean when you’re just drunk.” 

Roger gapes, shocked and offended. His mouth is dropped open in such a comical way and Brian laughs at the sight, hiccuping in between.

“You wanker, I’m a great driver!” 

“Sure Rog.” Brian says as he moves to stumble along to his bedroom, hearing the blond follow behind him.

“I am!” He almost shouts as he shuts the door behind them. It isn’t the first time they’ve shared a bed, memories of old days in college and a few nights on tour flashing through Brian’s head. 

He goes to his closet to pull out a pair of sweats for the drummer and he tosses them over his shoulder, not caring to see if he missed or not.

“Thanks,” Roger tells him as he pushes his jeans off and tugs the sweats on. 

Brian hums a reply as he swaps his jumper for an old Led Zeppelin t - shirt he bought back in college. Once he’s changed, he walks over to the bed only to find Roger already laying down, his face smushed up against his pillow. 

The sight melts Brian’s heart a little and he senses that there’s something deeper behind his seemingly platonic feelings for his friend. 

He decides that he will worry about it when the sun is up and his body isn’t flooded with cheap alcohol and settles into bed next to the drummer. 

He’s asleep before he can feel the arm that wraps around his waist. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment below and let me know ur thoughts so far xx


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